Arkansas Redneck Jokes

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM ARKANSAS...

You know you're from Arkansas if:
1. "How 'bout them Hogs" is a common phrase around your house.

2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip."

3. "Vacation" means driving to Hot Springs or maybe even Branson.

4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.

5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, Well, Conway's only 20 minutes away."

6. Up North to you means Missouri.

7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.

8. You know several people who have hit a deer.

9. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

10. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

11. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you go to?"

12. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

13. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

14. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

15. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store
with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

16. You know in your heart that Arkansas can beat Texas in football.

17. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"

18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, animal or grain.

19. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

20. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, catfish, and Sweet Tea.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

22. You went to skating parties as a kid.

23. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ranch and ketchup.

24. You eat dinner at noon and supper at night.

25. The local paper covers national and international headlines in one column, but requires six pages for sports.

26. You think I-40 is spelled and pronounced "ah fahty."

27. You'll pay for your kids way through college unless they want to go to UT

28. You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.

29. You know that you can't get anywhere without going through Little Rock first.

30. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

31. You know what time to be home for curfew -- not because of the law, but because of the mosquitos!

32. You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

33. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.

34. You know if another Arkansan is from the Ozarks, Northern, Central, or Southern part of AR as soon as they open their mouth.

35. You know that Bill Clinton, Ted Danson's wife, and John Grisham are all from Arkansas.

36. You failed World Geography in school because you thought Paris, London, Bismark & Nashville were cities in Arkansas (& they are)!

37. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

38. You know what "Wooooo Pig Sooie " means.

39. You actually get this and forward it to all your Arkansas friends

40. You know at least one person whose name is Bubba.


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